Flexibility and Rigidity Information

Potential reasons for rigidity:

Lack of knowledge about how something is done. Not knowing how the world works with regard to specific situations and events, the child will act inappropriately instead.
The need to avoid or escape from a non-preferred activity, or something difficult. If a child cannot perform a task perfectly, they may try to escape engaging in that activity.
The need to engage in or continue a preferred activity, usually an obsessive action or fixation.
A violation of a rule or ritual –changing something from the way it is supposed to be.
Anxiety about a current or upcoming event, no matter how trivial it might appear to you.
The need to control a situation
Immediate gratification of a need
A misunderstanding or misinterpretation of another’s action.
Transitioning from one activity to another.
Other internal issues such as sensory, inattention (ADHD), oppositional tendency (ODD), or other psychiatrist issues.

Conversation Starters / Talking Points / Activities:

Is your child only seeing two choices to a situation rather than many other options		Explain that there are many options/many ways to handle a situation.

Because a situation was one way the first time, does your child feel it always has to be that way?		Explain that situations/interactions/rules can change

Is your child misunderstanding what is happening and assuming something that isn’t true?		Clarify situations/interactions/expectations

Is your child expecting perfection from himself?		Explain that there are many ways to complete a task and that perfection isn’t necessary 100% of the time.

Does your child exaggerate the importance of a task or ritual? There are no small events; everything that goes wrong is a catastrophe.		Discuss/ differentiate with your child that little problems = little reactions, medium problems = medium reactions, etc. Make a colorful visual on paper/cardboard to hang in the home.

Teach your child better ways to handle problems		Develop a “toolbox” (empty cardboard box/tissue box) with coping strategies listed on notecards.

Is your child stuck on an idea and can’t let it go?		Fill an empty Liter Soda Bottle with water/glitter. When your child is stuck on an idea have them shake it vigorously. After it is shaken have the child watch the glitter fall to the bottom of the bottle. Set the expectation that when the glitter falls to the bottom, we will no longer be “stuck” on this idea, and we will move to the next activity.